Most people I know who are strict vegan or vegetarian have had at least one accident or another regarding animal based products.
Unfortunately its one of those things that happens when you buy and live in a world that uses animals for almost all of its products.
I myself have had many accidents in my 7 vegan years, some through lack of checking – yes assumption really does make an ass out of you and me – and some through sneaky companies.
For example, since I have been vegan, Skittles have been vegan twice, but are now not vegan in the UK again, Walkers crisps have changed their recipe (without publication) to include milk and Sainbury’s FigRolls that were once perfectly ok for me to eat – suddenly contained butter. Overnight. It was devastating!
So yes. I have eaten non vegan products, and tonight is another example of one of those.
My husband Benj, who is a fabulous vegan cook, decided to make vegan pizzas tonight using his very own vegan cheese recipe (I will blog one day) we used pre made bases that were vegan friendly, he made his own sauce and poured his cheese overtop.
Just look. Isn’t it freaking delicious looking…
After one slice I was happily munching away when he said … I put a drop of wine in the sauce to make it richer… My heart dropped. Wine?… Oh no, I haven’t checked that wine (its our housemates).
I stopped eating.
“Did you check if its vegan?”
His bunny in the headlights look said it all.
I go out and take note of the wine – Anakena Chili Sauvignon Blanc.
Please I think as I google it – Pleeeease!
Nothing comes up, which is so often the case, and you know what, thats worse than knowing. It leaves that awkward thought…Do you continue to eat? Or do you not eat?
Ben advised me to keep eating.
“But what if its got fish guts in it? That repulses me, I cant eat it.” I snap.
He looks angry, and I get it, he’s cooked this amazing meal and I cant eat it, just in case it has something in it, that possibly may not.
Needless to say I didn’t eat it, and after a few sharp words I explained to a Ben that it wasn’t the fact he made a mistake that upset me (as said above we all do, and this is the first time) it was the assumption that – you’ve already ate a bit, so might as well keep going. Like it didn’t matter.
Everyone goes through stages when they find out there is an alien ingredient in their mouth, something unfriendly, un-vegan and just not right.
I think I’m definitely a blamer. I blame others when I eat something I shouldn’t. Its my mums fault for contaminating the potatoes with the meat. Its Bens fault for not reading the label properly (I have really bad eyesight) or its the companies fault for changing the ingredients when I’ve already checked the old ones.
I’m also a guilt holder. Even now I’m picturing the poor fish being gutted. Its like a heavy weight in my stomach that will haunt me for days. I don’t think this is a healthy way to think about it, but it does act as a wake up call to how I truly feel about my beliefs. It shows me just how much I care.
I also know people who are violent reactors – instantly making themselves sick or cleansing themselves by taking laxatives.
Then there’s the people who would continue to eat the food, on the principle that the animal had been killed or used for this, they had made a mistake but now should not waste the produce that the animal went through suffering for.
None of them are right or wrong, its just about processing your emotional and physical response and reacting the way you think is best. No one but yourself should judge you on that.
How do you react? Disgust? Acceptance? Guilt?